Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Tuesday, 16 August 2011
4G TRIALS BEGIN IN INDIA
Aircel, Huawei and Qualcomm have successfully tested a dongle which works on existing 3G, GSM and CDMA networks, apart from the newer LTE (4G) TDD and FDD networks. Other operators are also conducting trials.
The reason for the low cost of 4G networks is two-fold:
1.) it will be able to use existing network infrastructure with slight modifications; and
2.) spectrum for 4G network was licensed to operators at a much lower cost (AS WE EXPECTED)compared to 3G network.
LTE can bring speeds of up to 100 Mbps download and 30 Mbps upload, while WiMAX, which is currently being used to connect rural Indian villages, delivers 40 Mbps download speeds.
While Reliance bagged spectrum in all 22 circles, Airtel got licences for four circles, Aircel for eight, Tikona in five circles, and Qualcomm (which is in the market to promote LTE) also bagged spectrum in four circles. BSNL and MTNL had got spectrum even before the auction but have so far launched WiMax in very few locations.
The problem right now is that devices supporting LTE TDD (the version of LTE that will be deployed in India), are not available right now. But that problem is soon going to become history. Qualcomm has confirmed that LTE devices will be available in bulk by the end of the year. More than 70 percent handsets worldwide use Qualcomm chipsets.
SOON WE EXPECT ALL NETWORKS WILL LAUNCH 4G
Monday, 15 August 2011
DRDO's Most Potent Weapon Systems
India's Defence Research and Development Organisation has made many significant achievements in the recent past. Many of the important systems developed by the agency were inducted/accepted by the armed services.
The production value of systems based on technologies developed by the DRDO (inducted/accepted/orders placed) during the past one decade is well over Rs 110,000 crore.
Let's take a look at some of the best technologies that DRDO has given India
Agni missile
________________________________________
Under its missile development programme, the DRDO has been developing ballistic missiles with longer ranges.
Agni-III is capable of carrying warheads weighing up to 1.5 tons, is 16 metres tall and weighs 48 tons.
Agni-I is a 750-800 km short-range missile. Agni-II has a range of more than 1,500 km. Both have already been inducted in the armed forces.
Agni-III is capable of reaching strategic targets deep inside China like Beijing and Shanghai. The 5,000 km-range Agni-V is a further advancement of the existing systems and is expected to be test-fired later this year.
Prithvi missile
________________________________________
Considered a world-class medium range missile, Prithvi, with a range of over 150 km has been inducted into the armed forces. The army had raised two specially trained missile groups, 333 and 355, to handle it.
The 8.56-metre-long missile is part of the Integrated Guided Missile Development Programme.
The Prithvi-I (150 km/1,000 kg) in army service, is capable of striking about a quarter of Pakistani territory, including Islamabad and most other major cities.
Prithvi-II (250 km/500 kg), in air force service, could strike at least half of Pakistan, including almost all military targets of importance and all major cities.
Akash missile
________________________________________
Akash is a mobile area defence medium-range medium and high altitude surface-to-air missile with a range of 27 to 30 kilometres.
It is said to be indigenously developed, though it has a very strong resemblance to the Russian SA-6 GAINFUL. Akash has a multi-target handling capability, and employs a command guidance system with provision for terminal guidance. Powered by a ram rocket propulsion and an air breathing engine, Akash can cut through electronic jamming with its electronic counter measure equipment.
Akash has a launch weight of 720 kg, a diameter of 35 cm and a length of 5.8 metres. It can fly at supersonic speed of around 2.5 Mach and can reach an altitude of 18 kms. It has a capacity to carry 50 kg payload.
Orders worth over Rs 25,000 crore for surface-to-air missile AKASH have been placed by the users. These include eight squadron for the IAF and two regiments for the army.
Endo-Atmospheric Interceptor
________________________________________
The DRDO has carried out successful flight tests of the missile defence system for 2,000 km class target were carried out.
Each flight led to a direct target hit and disintegration of the target.
The interceptor, designed for endo-atmospheric conditions (up to an altitude of 30 km) is a seven-metre-long and single stage solid rocket propelled guided missile, and is equipped with an inertial navigation system, a hi-tech computer and an electro-mechanical activator totally under command by the data uplinked from the sophisticated ground-based radars to the interceptor.
Similarly, the interceptor designed for exo-atmospheric conditions is a two-stage missile with a maximum interception altitude of 80 km
Nag Anti-Tank missile
________________________________________
Nag is a third- generation "fire and forget" anti-tank guided missile with a range of 4 to 6 kilometres. Nag can be mounted on an infantry combat vehicle and helicopter launched version of Nag is also available.
Nag is a third generation anti-tank missile system with "fire and forget" and "top attack" capabilities.
Capable of defeating modern armour, Nag uses Imaging Infra-Red guidance having both day and night capability.
The state-of-the-art Imaging Infra Red homing guidance system has lock-on-before-launch capability for day and night operation.
BrahMos cruise missile
________________________________________
The BrahMos missile is a two-stage vehicle that has a solid propellant booster and a liquid (propellant) ram jet system.
The missile can fly at 2.8 times the speed of sound. It can carry warheads up to 200 kg in weight and has a maximum range of 290 km.
The missile is capable of being launched from multiple platforms based on land, sea, sub-sea and air. The modular design of the missile and its capability of being launched at different orientations enables it to be integrated with a wide spectrum of platforms like warships, submarines, different types of aircraft, mobile autonomous launchers and silos.
Thus, BrahMos block II with target discrimination precision strike capabilities has been test-fired. Similarly, BrahMos block III with capability for steep diving from high altitudes and high manoeuvres at multiple points during supersonic flight has also been test fired.
Light Combat Aircraft Tejas
________________________________________
In the area of Aeronautics, Tejas, the Light Combat Aircraft concluded its extensive flight tests including weapon trials, dropping of bombs, jettisoning drop tanks and night flights; leading to its Initial Operational Clearance on January 10, 2011.
The LCA is the smallest and lightest combat jet in the world.
Confusion may arise with respect to the South Korean T-50, but it must be remembered that T-50 is primarily a hybrid trainer, that can assume fighter roles when necessary. The T-50 has a higher height and longer wingspan than the LCA, while its length is shorter by 22 cm.
Over 1,640 flights covering a period of over 969 hours have been completed by Tejas Mark 01. The first prototype of LCA Navy was rolled out and its induction tests were concluded.
Aerial Vehicles
________________________________________
In tune with changing war of scenario, DRDO gave major thrust to develop Unmanned Aerial Vehicles
Rustom-1: The Rustom 1 has a planned endurance of 12-15 hours, can carry payloads of up to 75kg and has a maximum ceiling of 25,000ft. The UAV's datalink was designed and developed by India's Defence Electronics Applications Laboratory, while its airframe and most of its electronics were produced by Indian companies.
Nishant: In a battlefield, Nishant can help army units to acquire targets to direct heavy artillery shelling and for guiding fighter aircraft to fire rockets and drop precision bombs at enemy positions and in an anti-tank role. Nishant, a remotely piloted vehicle (RPV) designed and developed by ADE, has an endurance of four to five hours and a range of 100 km in its primary roles. Flying at a speed of 40 to 60 metres per second, the UAV is capable of relaying data in real time to the army units moving forward in a battlefield condition.
Micro Aerial Vehicles: MAVs weigh only 300 grams and are 300 millimetres long. Since they are not entirely made of metal and carbon fibres, they are hard to intercept by radars and sensors. These MAVs have a range of two to five kilometres and they fly some 100 to 200 metres above the ground for 30-40 minutes and capture images.
Sudarshan Missile System And Kaveri Engine
________________________________________
Sudarshan: The Sudarshan missile has been developed indigenously to occupy the niche of a precision delivery mechanism. It can neutralise any target in a 800-1,000 km range with a zero margin of error.
Sudarshan will use a laser of a specific frequency bandwidth to locate the target. The laser creates a heat signature on the target. The missile recognises the signature and homes in on it even if the target is moving
Kaveri: The Kaveri engine is a major milestone for the DRDO. The indigenous development of the fighter aircraft engine was achieved with the completion of its simulated operating conditions.
The production value of systems based on technologies developed by the DRDO (inducted/accepted/orders placed) during the past one decade is well over Rs 110,000 crore.
Let's take a look at some of the best technologies that DRDO has given India
Agni missile
________________________________________
Under its missile development programme, the DRDO has been developing ballistic missiles with longer ranges.
Agni-III is capable of carrying warheads weighing up to 1.5 tons, is 16 metres tall and weighs 48 tons.
Agni-I is a 750-800 km short-range missile. Agni-II has a range of more than 1,500 km. Both have already been inducted in the armed forces.
Agni-III is capable of reaching strategic targets deep inside China like Beijing and Shanghai. The 5,000 km-range Agni-V is a further advancement of the existing systems and is expected to be test-fired later this year.
Prithvi missile
________________________________________
Considered a world-class medium range missile, Prithvi, with a range of over 150 km has been inducted into the armed forces. The army had raised two specially trained missile groups, 333 and 355, to handle it.
The 8.56-metre-long missile is part of the Integrated Guided Missile Development Programme.
The Prithvi-I (150 km/1,000 kg) in army service, is capable of striking about a quarter of Pakistani territory, including Islamabad and most other major cities.
Prithvi-II (250 km/500 kg), in air force service, could strike at least half of Pakistan, including almost all military targets of importance and all major cities.
Akash missile
________________________________________
Akash is a mobile area defence medium-range medium and high altitude surface-to-air missile with a range of 27 to 30 kilometres.
It is said to be indigenously developed, though it has a very strong resemblance to the Russian SA-6 GAINFUL. Akash has a multi-target handling capability, and employs a command guidance system with provision for terminal guidance. Powered by a ram rocket propulsion and an air breathing engine, Akash can cut through electronic jamming with its electronic counter measure equipment.
Akash has a launch weight of 720 kg, a diameter of 35 cm and a length of 5.8 metres. It can fly at supersonic speed of around 2.5 Mach and can reach an altitude of 18 kms. It has a capacity to carry 50 kg payload.
Orders worth over Rs 25,000 crore for surface-to-air missile AKASH have been placed by the users. These include eight squadron for the IAF and two regiments for the army.
Endo-Atmospheric Interceptor
________________________________________
The DRDO has carried out successful flight tests of the missile defence system for 2,000 km class target were carried out.
Each flight led to a direct target hit and disintegration of the target.
The interceptor, designed for endo-atmospheric conditions (up to an altitude of 30 km) is a seven-metre-long and single stage solid rocket propelled guided missile, and is equipped with an inertial navigation system, a hi-tech computer and an electro-mechanical activator totally under command by the data uplinked from the sophisticated ground-based radars to the interceptor.
Similarly, the interceptor designed for exo-atmospheric conditions is a two-stage missile with a maximum interception altitude of 80 km
Nag Anti-Tank missile
________________________________________
Nag is a third- generation "fire and forget" anti-tank guided missile with a range of 4 to 6 kilometres. Nag can be mounted on an infantry combat vehicle and helicopter launched version of Nag is also available.
Nag is a third generation anti-tank missile system with "fire and forget" and "top attack" capabilities.
Capable of defeating modern armour, Nag uses Imaging Infra-Red guidance having both day and night capability.
The state-of-the-art Imaging Infra Red homing guidance system has lock-on-before-launch capability for day and night operation.
BrahMos cruise missile
________________________________________
The BrahMos missile is a two-stage vehicle that has a solid propellant booster and a liquid (propellant) ram jet system.
The missile can fly at 2.8 times the speed of sound. It can carry warheads up to 200 kg in weight and has a maximum range of 290 km.
The missile is capable of being launched from multiple platforms based on land, sea, sub-sea and air. The modular design of the missile and its capability of being launched at different orientations enables it to be integrated with a wide spectrum of platforms like warships, submarines, different types of aircraft, mobile autonomous launchers and silos.
Thus, BrahMos block II with target discrimination precision strike capabilities has been test-fired. Similarly, BrahMos block III with capability for steep diving from high altitudes and high manoeuvres at multiple points during supersonic flight has also been test fired.
Light Combat Aircraft Tejas
________________________________________
In the area of Aeronautics, Tejas, the Light Combat Aircraft concluded its extensive flight tests including weapon trials, dropping of bombs, jettisoning drop tanks and night flights; leading to its Initial Operational Clearance on January 10, 2011.
The LCA is the smallest and lightest combat jet in the world.
Confusion may arise with respect to the South Korean T-50, but it must be remembered that T-50 is primarily a hybrid trainer, that can assume fighter roles when necessary. The T-50 has a higher height and longer wingspan than the LCA, while its length is shorter by 22 cm.
Over 1,640 flights covering a period of over 969 hours have been completed by Tejas Mark 01. The first prototype of LCA Navy was rolled out and its induction tests were concluded.
Aerial Vehicles
________________________________________
In tune with changing war of scenario, DRDO gave major thrust to develop Unmanned Aerial Vehicles
Rustom-1: The Rustom 1 has a planned endurance of 12-15 hours, can carry payloads of up to 75kg and has a maximum ceiling of 25,000ft. The UAV's datalink was designed and developed by India's Defence Electronics Applications Laboratory, while its airframe and most of its electronics were produced by Indian companies.
Nishant: In a battlefield, Nishant can help army units to acquire targets to direct heavy artillery shelling and for guiding fighter aircraft to fire rockets and drop precision bombs at enemy positions and in an anti-tank role. Nishant, a remotely piloted vehicle (RPV) designed and developed by ADE, has an endurance of four to five hours and a range of 100 km in its primary roles. Flying at a speed of 40 to 60 metres per second, the UAV is capable of relaying data in real time to the army units moving forward in a battlefield condition.
Micro Aerial Vehicles: MAVs weigh only 300 grams and are 300 millimetres long. Since they are not entirely made of metal and carbon fibres, they are hard to intercept by radars and sensors. These MAVs have a range of two to five kilometres and they fly some 100 to 200 metres above the ground for 30-40 minutes and capture images.
Sudarshan Missile System And Kaveri Engine
________________________________________
Sudarshan: The Sudarshan missile has been developed indigenously to occupy the niche of a precision delivery mechanism. It can neutralise any target in a 800-1,000 km range with a zero margin of error.
Sudarshan will use a laser of a specific frequency bandwidth to locate the target. The laser creates a heat signature on the target. The missile recognises the signature and homes in on it even if the target is moving
Kaveri: The Kaveri engine is a major milestone for the DRDO. The indigenous development of the fighter aircraft engine was achieved with the completion of its simulated operating conditions.
♥♥♥ YEH BABURAO KA STYLE HEY ♥♥♥
Yeh devi prasad ka ghar nai hai
Saala rakh diya to bhi baat karta hain
Naam badal dalo isme gaun se shehar aane ki kya jarurat hai
Machhli to mast tel mein fry karke khaa gaya
Raju: Utha Le!!!
Baburao:
Kaise uthaon 40-50 Kilo ke Hogi ...
Baburao:
Kaise uthaon 40-50 Kilo ke Hogi ...
Raju:
Dhoti Dhoti!!!
Dhoti Dhoti!!!
Chamaila dhotarchor
Mera Chasma becha Rajuuuuu... Kutriya!
Uthale re deva...uthale re baba...mereko nahin re...in do gharibon ko uthale..
Deba re deba pehle sirf heart attack heart main hota tha....abhi kidney main heart attack hone lage re baba......, kya zamana agaya re deba
Mere Ko Bhi Fight Marne De Shyam
Kabira Speaking Mast Naam HaiRe
ye baburao ka style hain
Ek ka do karti hain, pakad saliko
kutre sala dakhke number dial kar
HOW TO RESET YOUR NOKIA N8 OVI APPLICATION
Saturday, 13 August 2011
Politician Cartoon
BABA'S YOGA
Uninor Independence Day Offer
After friendship day UNINOR now gives unlimited UNINOR to UNINOR local call on the eve of independence day absolutely free
LIFE TIME SIM CARD VALIDITY REDUCED TO 20 DAYS FOR NON USE
As per the latest report on Daily Bhaskar it states TRAI guidelines on lifetime SIM card may soon be terminated from service if not recharged or any calls made or received from it in 20 days.
Now if you think your lifetime sim will actually give you a lifetime validity then its time think again.
The Telecom Regulatory Authority of India has silently put forward the new rules under which if a mobile number does not have any outgoing or incoming calls for more than twenty days, the services to the number will be terminated and the number can be re-allotted.
Previously the rule was for a period of 180 days before the services were terminated for non-use. Either a recharge or an incoming or outgoing call within 180 days allowed the customers to keep their services. Later in 2010, the period was reduced to 90 days.
The rule has been set by TRAI 3 months ago but there has been no public notice regarding the new rule till date. Even the service providers have failed to inform their customers.
Now if you think your lifetime sim will actually give you a lifetime validity then its time think again.
The Telecom Regulatory Authority of India has silently put forward the new rules under which if a mobile number does not have any outgoing or incoming calls for more than twenty days, the services to the number will be terminated and the number can be re-allotted.
Previously the rule was for a period of 180 days before the services were terminated for non-use. Either a recharge or an incoming or outgoing call within 180 days allowed the customers to keep their services. Later in 2010, the period was reduced to 90 days.
The rule has been set by TRAI 3 months ago but there has been no public notice regarding the new rule till date. Even the service providers have failed to inform their customers.
BSNL Free Local Call offer
In a bid to Celebrate Raksha Bandhan and commemorate the 64th Independence Day, Pan India
3G mobile service operator Bharat Sanchar Nigam Ltd (BSNL) comes up with exciting offers of Unlimited Free Local Callings (BSNL to BSNL) for its GSM and CDMA Mobile service subscribers across all the telecom circles To avail the “Raksha Bandhan and Independence Day Special Unlimited Free Local Calling Offer” customers need to recharge with STV worth Rs. 36 which will be available From 00.01hrs of 13-08-11 to 24.00 hrs of 15-08-11. On 13th August and 15th August, India will celebrate its Raksha Bandhan and 64th Independence Day respectively and to bring cheers to every 2G and 3G Prepaid and CDMA users BSNL has brought out new offers.
3G mobile service operator Bharat Sanchar Nigam Ltd (BSNL) comes up with exciting offers of Unlimited Free Local Callings (BSNL to BSNL) for its GSM and CDMA Mobile service subscribers across all the telecom circles To avail the “Raksha Bandhan and Independence Day Special Unlimited Free Local Calling Offer” customers need to recharge with STV worth Rs. 36 which will be available From 00.01hrs of 13-08-11 to 24.00 hrs of 15-08-11. On 13th August and 15th August, India will celebrate its Raksha Bandhan and 64th Independence Day respectively and to bring cheers to every 2G and 3G Prepaid and CDMA users BSNL has brought out new offers.
Friday, 12 August 2011
Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense
Buddhir Baire (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Bhuter Cheye Adbhut (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Darjar Arale (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Chhuri (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
First Class Kamra (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Mrs Kumodini Choudhury (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Nefrudeter Samadhi (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Pichu Pichu Chole (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Raktomukhi Neela (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Rankinidebir Khargo (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Akashbani (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Ami Bhoot (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Guptodhan (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Jahangirer Swarnamudra (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Kalo Morog (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Ghurghutiar Ghatona (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Golok Dham Rahasyo (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Bonku Babur Bondhu (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Dehantar (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Bhuture (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
MomePutuler Jadughar (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Medel (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Makorsar Ras (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Kheloar Tarinikhuro (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Moru Rahasya (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Muraribabur Almari (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Professor Sanku O Frankeinstein (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Rahasya Kuthir Rani (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Samaddar Er Chabi (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Sheyal Debata Rahasya (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Bhoutik Palanko (Radio Mirchi Sunday Suspense)
Wednesday, 10 August 2011
Tuesday, 9 August 2011
Sms/Jokes
Autowaala: sorry sir, meter daalna bhool gaya.
santa: problem nahi hai. main bhi apna purse bhool aaya. chodo
*******************************************
Car chalaataa huaa Santa ko road mein "ACCIDENT ZONE" ka board dikhaa. isliye santa ne sochaa:
"Yeh log accident zone mein kyu road banaate hai?"
*******************************************
Ek kadvaa sach :-)
Behan ki friend behan ho sakti hai,
Bhai ka friend Bhai ho sakta hai,
lekin wife ka friend wife nahi ban sakti
**********************************
suma: maa, raju ne mujhe kiss de diyaa
maa: haan kya? rukho main poochti hoo.
suma: nahi maa. tum poochoge to woh nahi degaa
******************************************
Paagal 1: main Taj Mahal ko kareedh loonga
Paagal 2: main use abhi bhech nahi rahaa hoo
****************************************
Customer: yeh kya offer hai? TV liya to 10 kerchief free!!!
Salesman: TV serials dekhne ke baad aapki aansoo ponchne ke liye
************************************************
Boy: kal maine tumhaare ghar gaya tha. lagta hai hamaari shaadi nahi hogi.
girl: kyu? pappa se mile the kya?
Boy: nahi, tumhaare behan se milaa tha
*************************************************
Manager: hamaare bank mein hum aapko binaa interest ke loan denge.
customer: arey, jab dena hai to thoda haste haste dona. agar dene mein interest nahi hai, to mat do
****************************************
1st beggar: arey, tum kyu us cinema poster ko aise gur rahe ho?
2nd beggar: main hee is cinema ka producer hoo
*******************************************
Beggar: 10 rupaiya dedo saab. girlfriend ko phone karni hai.
Saab ka girlfriend: dekho, bhikaari bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai.
Beggar: nahi memsaab, use pyar karne ke baad hee main bhikaari ban gayaa
****************************************
Maalik: arey, tune 500 saal puraani ghadi thod dee hai.
naukar: bach gaya saab, main to samjha yeh nayaa hai
**********************************************
Ramu: Sir, mere ghar mein TV chodke baaki sabki chori hogayi hai?
Police: chor ne sirf TV kisliye chodaa hoga?
Ramu: mujhe kya pataa sir? main us samay TV mein serial dekh rahaa thaa
****************************************
Teacher: raju, tum kis liye college aate ho?
Student: vidya ke khaatir
Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho?
Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai sir
*******************************************************
Pati: mere marne ke baad, kyaa tum doosri shaadi karogi?
Patni: nahi. main apni behan ki saath rahungi. aap?
Pati: main bhi tumhaare behan ke saath rahunga
***********************************************************
1st wife: tumhaara sharaabi pati roz peekar ghar aata hai na. tum poochti kyu nahi ho.
2nd wife: main poochi thi. lekin unhone mujhe diyaa nahi. ***********************************************************
Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo na.
Patient: wahi mera sabse bada dar hai doctor.
***************************************
Patient: Doctor, yeh mera pehla operation hai. thoda dhyaan se karna.
Doctor: dara mat. yeh mera bhi pehla operation hai
*******************************************
Doctor: is dawaa ko ek hafte main poora karo aur baad main aake milo.
Patient: teek hai doctor
(ek hafte ke baad)
Doctor: dawaa khatam huaa kya?
Patient: nahi doctor.
Doctor: kyu nahi?
Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha bandh rakhe
********************************************
Bhige mausam ki bhigi si raat!
Bhigi si yaad bhuli hue baat!
Wo bhigi si ankhe
Wo bhiga hua sath
Mubaraq ho apko Sawan ki khubsurat barsaat
*******************************************
Samajh Na Sake Unki Baato Ko
Hum Pyar Ke Nashe Me Choor They
Ab Samajh Me Aaya Jispe Hum Jaan Dete They
Woh DiL Todne Ke Liye Mashhoor They.
******************************************
Biwi:Meri Saheli Aa rahi Hai
Wo Mere Sath Soyegi
Aap Hall Me So Jao,
Husband:1 Shart Par Jab Meri Saheli Ayegi,
Tab Tum b Hall Me Sone Ka Vada Kro...
*****************************************
kabhi khushi milti h kabhi gum.
Kabhi vishky pite hai kabhi Rum.
Pila deti hai uski yaad or tanhai.
Or badnaam hote hai kabhi botal or kabhi ham...
****************************************
Aaj dosti par ek kitab likhenge
doston k sath gujri har baat likhenge
jab batana ho dost kaise hote hain
tumhe soch kar har baat likhenge...
****************************************
Dimaag
Hai
To
Answer
Dena,
Tumare
Bhai
Ki
Bhabhi
Ki
Saas
Ke
Bhai
Ki
Biwi
Ki
Saas Ki
Pati
Ke
Jamai
Ke
Pote
Ki
Maa
Ki
Nanad
Ka
Bhai
AaPka
Kaun..??
*****************************************
Collection
| Options | Thanx | | Like(0) | Aug 9, 2011 9:07AM
Ek LaDKi
Raat Me Akeli
Aur
2 Ladke Uske
Piche
Kya Hua Hoga?
*
Socho
?
*
Nahi_Pata.?
?
To
Janne;Ke Liye
Dekhiye
C.I.D
Aaj
Raat 10 Baje.
*****************************************
MONU;
Sister muje 1;bottle blood dedo
NurSe;
Blood grouP bolo
MONU:
koi_v chalega
NurSe;
Kaise?
MONU;
Girlfriend ko love letter likhana He...
SONU;
Ye;college ka fullform kya hota hai.?
MONU ;
Mujhe;Malum
Hai Na Yaar,
~
C = COME
O = ON
L = LETS
L= LOVE
E = EVERY
G = GIRL
E = EVERYDAY...
Employee;
Boss,
Meri Shaadi Ho
Gayi
Meri Salary
Badha;Deejiye,
Boss;
Factory"Ke
Baahar Hone
Wale
Haadso Ke Liye
Company
Zimmeddar Nahin
Hoti..;
Ek;Sharabi Ka
Court Me
Case Chal Raha
Tha,
Judge;Ne Kaha;ORDER-ORDER;
Sharabi RePlied;Ek
CHILLI CHICKEN,
One ROYAL STAG
With
SODA;Jaldi...
KhoobSurat
Ladkiya
Zyada;Padhai
Nahi Karti
*
Q-Ki
*
Wo;Janti He
Duniya;Ke
Kisi Kone Me Koi
Gadha
Unke;Liye Doctor
Ya;Engineer Ban
Raha_Hoga...
*******************************************
Dhokha
Milaa Jab Pyar
Me
ZinDagi Me
Udaasi Chha Gayi,
Socha Tha
AAG LAGA Denge
Is
Duniya Ko,
Kambakhat
Colony Me Phir
Se
DuSri Aa Gayi...
BEST SMS OF LIFE..
*
Maa Apne Bete Ko 20 saal tak GENTAL Banati Hai
*
*
*
Aur Ek Ladki 20 Second Me Use MENTAL Bana Deti Hai...
1 Acha DoSt Hospital Me Phul De Ke Kehta He
Get Wel Soon..
Par
1 Sacha DoSt Kahta He
Sale Nurse Kya Item He
Dhire-Dhire Thik Hona
Main Roz Aaunga...
*****************************************
BOY
Tera Naam Kya
He
GIRL;
Pehan Ke Batau
Ya DikhaKar
BOY;
Matlab?
GIRL;
PAYAL
GIRL;
Apka
BOY;
Lekar Batau Ya
Dekar
GIRL;
Matlab
BOY;
PAPPI...
Teacher;
Isko Hindi me convert karo
Hey frnds Look a beautiful Girl is standing there;
Student;
Wo dekho saalo, tumhari bhabhi Khadi Hai...
Judge;
Tumne Apne Malik Ko Zehar Q Diya?
Mulzim;
QKi Unho Ne Kaha Tha Ki
Aisa Thanda Pani Pilao
Ki Thanda Ho
Jau,
Aur Maine Zehar Daal Kar De DiYa...
******************************************
Kitna Smjhaya Dil Ko Ki Tu Pyar Na Kr
Kisike Liye Khud Ko Bekrar Na Kr
Wo Tere Nhi He Arey Nadan Arey Pagal
Kisi Aur Ki Amanat Ka Intjaar Na Kr..
*****************************************
If U Care 4 Me- I Care 4 U
U Miss ME- I Miss U
U Msg ME- I Msg U
U Gussa- I Gussa
U 4gt ME- Na Ji Na!!
I m difrnt
Hum to Ji GOLI Maar Dete Hai.
**************************************
Love is something special, a
treasure I want to find..To
others, love is blind but for
me, its not true, Coz..When I
fell in love..I saw u.
**************************************
Painful words by My Heart-
Now that i have Loved so
Deeply and Purely.. I have
Realized How Lonely i Am
****************************************
If I never met u, I
wouldn't like u. If I
didn't like u, I wouldn't
love u. If I didn't love
u, I wouldn't miss u.
But I did, I do, I will.
****************************************
santa: problem nahi hai. main bhi apna purse bhool aaya. chodo
*******************************************
Car chalaataa huaa Santa ko road mein "ACCIDENT ZONE" ka board dikhaa. isliye santa ne sochaa:
"Yeh log accident zone mein kyu road banaate hai?"
*******************************************
Ek kadvaa sach :-)
Behan ki friend behan ho sakti hai,
Bhai ka friend Bhai ho sakta hai,
lekin wife ka friend wife nahi ban sakti
**********************************
suma: maa, raju ne mujhe kiss de diyaa
maa: haan kya? rukho main poochti hoo.
suma: nahi maa. tum poochoge to woh nahi degaa
******************************************
Paagal 1: main Taj Mahal ko kareedh loonga
Paagal 2: main use abhi bhech nahi rahaa hoo
****************************************
Customer: yeh kya offer hai? TV liya to 10 kerchief free!!!
Salesman: TV serials dekhne ke baad aapki aansoo ponchne ke liye
************************************************
Boy: kal maine tumhaare ghar gaya tha. lagta hai hamaari shaadi nahi hogi.
girl: kyu? pappa se mile the kya?
Boy: nahi, tumhaare behan se milaa tha
*************************************************
Manager: hamaare bank mein hum aapko binaa interest ke loan denge.
customer: arey, jab dena hai to thoda haste haste dona. agar dene mein interest nahi hai, to mat do
****************************************
1st beggar: arey, tum kyu us cinema poster ko aise gur rahe ho?
2nd beggar: main hee is cinema ka producer hoo
*******************************************
Beggar: 10 rupaiya dedo saab. girlfriend ko phone karni hai.
Saab ka girlfriend: dekho, bhikaari bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai.
Beggar: nahi memsaab, use pyar karne ke baad hee main bhikaari ban gayaa
****************************************
Maalik: arey, tune 500 saal puraani ghadi thod dee hai.
naukar: bach gaya saab, main to samjha yeh nayaa hai
**********************************************
Ramu: Sir, mere ghar mein TV chodke baaki sabki chori hogayi hai?
Police: chor ne sirf TV kisliye chodaa hoga?
Ramu: mujhe kya pataa sir? main us samay TV mein serial dekh rahaa thaa
****************************************
Teacher: raju, tum kis liye college aate ho?
Student: vidya ke khaatir
Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho?
Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai sir
*******************************************************
Pati: mere marne ke baad, kyaa tum doosri shaadi karogi?
Patni: nahi. main apni behan ki saath rahungi. aap?
Pati: main bhi tumhaare behan ke saath rahunga
***********************************************************
1st wife: tumhaara sharaabi pati roz peekar ghar aata hai na. tum poochti kyu nahi ho.
2nd wife: main poochi thi. lekin unhone mujhe diyaa nahi. ***********************************************************
Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo na.
Patient: wahi mera sabse bada dar hai doctor.
***************************************
Patient: Doctor, yeh mera pehla operation hai. thoda dhyaan se karna.
Doctor: dara mat. yeh mera bhi pehla operation hai
*******************************************
Doctor: is dawaa ko ek hafte main poora karo aur baad main aake milo.
Patient: teek hai doctor
(ek hafte ke baad)
Doctor: dawaa khatam huaa kya?
Patient: nahi doctor.
Doctor: kyu nahi?
Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha bandh rakhe
********************************************
Bhige mausam ki bhigi si raat!
Bhigi si yaad bhuli hue baat!
Wo bhigi si ankhe
Wo bhiga hua sath
Mubaraq ho apko Sawan ki khubsurat barsaat
*******************************************
Samajh Na Sake Unki Baato Ko
Hum Pyar Ke Nashe Me Choor They
Ab Samajh Me Aaya Jispe Hum Jaan Dete They
Woh DiL Todne Ke Liye Mashhoor They.
******************************************
Biwi:Meri Saheli Aa rahi Hai
Wo Mere Sath Soyegi
Aap Hall Me So Jao,
Husband:1 Shart Par Jab Meri Saheli Ayegi,
Tab Tum b Hall Me Sone Ka Vada Kro...
*****************************************
kabhi khushi milti h kabhi gum.
Kabhi vishky pite hai kabhi Rum.
Pila deti hai uski yaad or tanhai.
Or badnaam hote hai kabhi botal or kabhi ham...
****************************************
Aaj dosti par ek kitab likhenge
doston k sath gujri har baat likhenge
jab batana ho dost kaise hote hain
tumhe soch kar har baat likhenge...
****************************************
Dimaag
Hai
To
Answer
Dena,
Tumare
Bhai
Ki
Bhabhi
Ki
Saas
Ke
Bhai
Ki
Biwi
Ki
Saas Ki
Pati
Ke
Jamai
Ke
Pote
Ki
Maa
Ki
Nanad
Ka
Bhai
AaPka
Kaun..??
*****************************************
Collection
| Options | Thanx | | Like(0) | Aug 9, 2011 9:07AM
Ek LaDKi
Raat Me Akeli
Aur
2 Ladke Uske
Piche
Kya Hua Hoga?
*
Socho
?
*
Nahi_Pata.?
?
To
Janne;Ke Liye
Dekhiye
C.I.D
Aaj
Raat 10 Baje.
*****************************************
MONU;
Sister muje 1;bottle blood dedo
NurSe;
Blood grouP bolo
MONU:
koi_v chalega
NurSe;
Kaise?
MONU;
Girlfriend ko love letter likhana He...
SONU;
Ye;college ka fullform kya hota hai.?
MONU ;
Mujhe;Malum
Hai Na Yaar,
~
C = COME
O = ON
L = LETS
L= LOVE
E = EVERY
G = GIRL
E = EVERYDAY...
Employee;
Boss,
Meri Shaadi Ho
Gayi
Meri Salary
Badha;Deejiye,
Boss;
Factory"Ke
Baahar Hone
Wale
Haadso Ke Liye
Company
Zimmeddar Nahin
Hoti..;
Ek;Sharabi Ka
Court Me
Case Chal Raha
Tha,
Judge;Ne Kaha;ORDER-ORDER;
Sharabi RePlied;Ek
CHILLI CHICKEN,
One ROYAL STAG
With
SODA;Jaldi...
KhoobSurat
Ladkiya
Zyada;Padhai
Nahi Karti
*
Q-Ki
*
Wo;Janti He
Duniya;Ke
Kisi Kone Me Koi
Gadha
Unke;Liye Doctor
Ya;Engineer Ban
Raha_Hoga...
*******************************************
Dhokha
Milaa Jab Pyar
Me
ZinDagi Me
Udaasi Chha Gayi,
Socha Tha
AAG LAGA Denge
Is
Duniya Ko,
Kambakhat
Colony Me Phir
Se
DuSri Aa Gayi...
BEST SMS OF LIFE..
*
Maa Apne Bete Ko 20 saal tak GENTAL Banati Hai
*
*
*
Aur Ek Ladki 20 Second Me Use MENTAL Bana Deti Hai...
1 Acha DoSt Hospital Me Phul De Ke Kehta He
Get Wel Soon..
Par
1 Sacha DoSt Kahta He
Sale Nurse Kya Item He
Dhire-Dhire Thik Hona
Main Roz Aaunga...
*****************************************
BOY
Tera Naam Kya
He
GIRL;
Pehan Ke Batau
Ya DikhaKar
BOY;
Matlab?
GIRL;
PAYAL
GIRL;
Apka
BOY;
Lekar Batau Ya
Dekar
GIRL;
Matlab
BOY;
PAPPI...
Teacher;
Isko Hindi me convert karo
Hey frnds Look a beautiful Girl is standing there;
Student;
Wo dekho saalo, tumhari bhabhi Khadi Hai...
Judge;
Tumne Apne Malik Ko Zehar Q Diya?
Mulzim;
QKi Unho Ne Kaha Tha Ki
Aisa Thanda Pani Pilao
Ki Thanda Ho
Jau,
Aur Maine Zehar Daal Kar De DiYa...
******************************************
Kitna Smjhaya Dil Ko Ki Tu Pyar Na Kr
Kisike Liye Khud Ko Bekrar Na Kr
Wo Tere Nhi He Arey Nadan Arey Pagal
Kisi Aur Ki Amanat Ka Intjaar Na Kr..
*****************************************
If U Care 4 Me- I Care 4 U
U Miss ME- I Miss U
U Msg ME- I Msg U
U Gussa- I Gussa
U 4gt ME- Na Ji Na!!
I m difrnt
Hum to Ji GOLI Maar Dete Hai.
**************************************
Love is something special, a
treasure I want to find..To
others, love is blind but for
me, its not true, Coz..When I
fell in love..I saw u.
**************************************
Painful words by My Heart-
Now that i have Loved so
Deeply and Purely.. I have
Realized How Lonely i Am
****************************************
If I never met u, I
wouldn't like u. If I
didn't like u, I wouldn't
love u. If I didn't love
u, I wouldn't miss u.
But I did, I do, I will.
****************************************
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