Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Sms/Jokes

Autowaala: sorry sir, meter daalna bhool gaya.
santa: problem nahi hai. main bhi apna purse bhool aaya. chodo
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Car chalaataa huaa Santa ko road mein "ACCIDENT ZONE" ka board dikhaa. isliye santa ne sochaa:
"Yeh log accident zone mein kyu road banaate hai?"
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Ek kadvaa sach :-)
Behan ki friend behan ho sakti hai,
Bhai ka friend Bhai ho sakta hai,
lekin wife ka friend wife nahi ban sakti
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suma: maa, raju ne mujhe kiss de diyaa
maa: haan kya? rukho main poochti hoo.
suma: nahi maa. tum poochoge to woh nahi degaa
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Paagal 1: main Taj Mahal ko kareedh loonga
Paagal 2: main use abhi bhech nahi rahaa hoo
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Customer: yeh kya offer hai? TV liya to 10 kerchief free!!!
Salesman: TV serials dekhne ke baad aapki aansoo ponchne ke liye
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Boy: kal maine tumhaare ghar gaya tha. lagta hai hamaari shaadi nahi hogi.
girl: kyu? pappa se mile the kya?
Boy: nahi, tumhaare behan se milaa tha
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Manager: hamaare bank mein hum aapko binaa interest ke loan denge.
customer: arey, jab dena hai to thoda haste haste dona. agar dene mein interest nahi hai, to mat do





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1st beggar: arey, tum kyu us cinema poster ko aise gur rahe ho?
2nd beggar: main hee is cinema ka producer hoo
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Beggar: 10 rupaiya dedo saab. girlfriend ko phone karni hai.
Saab ka girlfriend: dekho, bhikaari bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai.
Beggar: nahi memsaab, use pyar karne ke baad hee main bhikaari ban gayaa
****************************************

Maalik: arey, tune 500 saal puraani ghadi thod dee hai.
naukar: bach gaya saab, main to samjha yeh nayaa hai
**********************************************

Ramu: Sir, mere ghar mein TV chodke baaki sabki chori hogayi hai?
Police: chor ne sirf TV kisliye chodaa hoga?
Ramu: mujhe kya pataa sir? main us samay TV mein serial dekh rahaa thaa



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Teacher: raju, tum kis liye college aate ho?
Student: vidya ke khaatir
Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho?
Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai sir

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Pati: mere marne ke baad, kyaa tum doosri shaadi karogi?
Patni: nahi. main apni behan ki saath rahungi. aap?
Pati: main bhi tumhaare behan ke saath rahunga

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1st wife: tumhaara sharaabi pati roz peekar ghar aata hai na. tum poochti kyu nahi ho.
2nd wife: main poochi thi. lekin unhone mujhe diyaa nahi.
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Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo na.
Patient: wahi mera sabse bada dar hai doctor. 

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Patient: Doctor, yeh mera pehla operation hai. thoda dhyaan se karna.
Doctor: dara mat. yeh mera bhi pehla operation hai 

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Doctor: is dawaa ko ek hafte main poora karo aur baad main aake milo.
Patient: teek hai doctor
(ek hafte ke baad)
Doctor: dawaa khatam huaa kya?
Patient: nahi doctor.
Doctor: kyu nahi?
Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha bandh rakhe



********************************************


Bhige mausam ki bhigi si raat!
Bhigi si yaad bhuli hue baat!
Wo bhigi si ankhe
Wo bhiga hua sath
Mubaraq ho apko Sawan ki khubsurat barsaat


*******************************************

Samajh Na Sake Unki Baato Ko
Hum Pyar Ke Nashe Me Choor They
Ab Samajh Me Aaya Jispe Hum Jaan Dete They
Woh DiL Todne Ke Liye Mashhoor They.


******************************************

Biwi:Meri Saheli Aa rahi Hai
Wo Mere Sath Soyegi
Aap Hall Me So Jao,

Husband:1 Shart Par Jab Meri Saheli Ayegi,
Tab Tum b Hall Me Sone Ka Vada Kro...
 

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kabhi khushi milti h kabhi gum.
Kabhi vishky pite hai kabhi Rum.
Pila deti hai uski yaad or tanhai.
Or badnaam hote hai kabhi botal or kabhi ham...
 

****************************************

Aaj dosti par ek kitab likhenge
doston k sath gujri har baat likhenge
jab batana ho dost kaise hote hain
tumhe soch kar har baat likhenge...
 

****************************************

Dimaag
Hai
To
Answer
Dena,

Tumare
Bhai
Ki
Bhabhi
Ki
Saas
Ke
Bhai
Ki
Biwi
Ki
Saas Ki
Pati
Ke
Jamai
Ke
Pote
Ki
Maa
Ki
Nanad
Ka
Bhai
AaPka
Kaun..??
 

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Collection
| Options | Thanx | | Like(0) |   Aug 9, 2011 9:07AM

Ek LaDKi
Raat Me Akeli

Aur
2 Ladke Uske
Piche
Kya Hua Hoga?

*

Socho

?

*

Nahi_Pata.?

?

To
Janne;Ke Liye
Dekhiye
C.I.D
Aaj
Raat 10 Baje.


*****************************************

MONU;
Sister muje 1;bottle blood dedo

NurSe;
Blood grouP bolo

MONU:
koi_v chalega

NurSe;
Kaise?

MONU;
Girlfriend ko love letter likhana He...


SONU;
Ye;college ka fullform kya hota hai.?

MONU ;
Mujhe;Malum
Hai Na Yaar,
~
C = COME
O = ON
L = LETS
L= LOVE
E = EVERY
G = GIRL
E = EVERYDAY...


Employee;
Boss,
Meri Shaadi Ho
Gayi
Meri Salary
Badha;Deejiye,

Boss;
Factory"Ke
Baahar Hone
Wale
Haadso Ke Liye
Company
Zimmeddar Nahin
Hoti..;


Ek;Sharabi Ka
Court Me
Case Chal Raha
Tha,

Judge;Ne Kaha;ORDER-ORDER;

Sharabi RePlied;Ek
CHILLI CHICKEN,
One ROYAL STAG
With
SODA;Jaldi...


KhoobSurat
Ladkiya
Zyada;Padhai
Nahi Karti

*

Q-Ki

*

Wo;Janti He

Duniya;Ke
Kisi Kone Me Koi
Gadha

Unke;Liye Doctor
Ya;Engineer Ban
Raha_Hoga...


*******************************************

Dhokha
Milaa Jab Pyar
Me

ZinDagi Me
Udaasi Chha Gayi,

Socha Tha
AAG LAGA Denge
Is
Duniya Ko,

Kambakhat
Colony Me Phir
Se

DuSri Aa Gayi...

BEST SMS OF LIFE..

*

Maa Apne Bete Ko 20 saal tak GENTAL Banati Hai

*

*

*

Aur Ek Ladki 20 Second Me Use MENTAL Bana Deti Hai...


1 Acha DoSt Hospital Me Phul De Ke Kehta He

Get Wel Soon..

Par
1 Sacha DoSt Kahta He
Sale Nurse Kya Item He

Dhire-Dhire Thik Hona
Main Roz Aaunga...
 
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BOY
Tera Naam Kya
He

GIRL;
Pehan Ke Batau
Ya DikhaKar

BOY;
Matlab?

GIRL;
PAYAL

GIRL;
Apka

BOY;
Lekar Batau Ya
Dekar

GIRL;
Matlab

BOY;
PAPPI...


Teacher;
Isko Hindi me convert karo

Hey frnds Look a beautiful Girl is standing there;

Student;
Wo dekho saalo, tumhari bhabhi Khadi Hai...


Judge;
Tumne Apne Malik Ko Zehar Q Diya?

Mulzim;
QKi Unho Ne Kaha Tha Ki
Aisa Thanda Pani Pilao
Ki Thanda Ho
Jau,
Aur Maine Zehar Daal Kar De DiYa
... 

******************************************

Kitna Smjhaya Dil Ko Ki Tu Pyar Na Kr
Kisike Liye Khud Ko Bekrar Na Kr
Wo Tere Nhi He Arey Nadan Arey Pagal
Kisi Aur Ki Amanat Ka Intjaar Na Kr..
 

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If U Care 4 Me- I Care 4 U
U Miss ME- I Miss U
U Msg ME- I Msg U
U Gussa- I Gussa
U 4gt ME- Na Ji Na!!
I m difrnt
Hum to Ji GOLI Maar Dete Hai.
 

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Love is something special, a
treasure I want to find..To
others, love is blind but for
me, its not true, Coz..When I
fell in love..I saw u.
 

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Painful words by My Heart-
Now that i have Loved so
Deeply and Purely.. I have
Realized How Lonely i Am
 

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If I never met u, I
wouldn't like u. If I
didn't like u, I wouldn't
love u. If I didn't love
u, I wouldn't miss u.
But I did, I do, I will.
 

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